Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Facing myself

Hi guys, as you have obviously noticed, I haven't blogged in quite a few months. The truth is that my depression started to get really bad, and I needed to take the time to deal with it. I've been speaking with an amazing counselor, and it's really been life changing. Here I explain what all I've learned when dealing with grief:

I've also learned about mindfulness, and it really helps get me through the day. I focus on whats happening right now, not worrying about the unknown. And I don't shove away my emotions, I let myself feel them in full.

To be honest, all of that has been the easy part. Right now though, I'm really struggling with guilt, with not hating myself. When I get down to the core of whats really troubling me, it's how I feel about myself, how I blame myself for his death and hate myself for not being able to save him. I know you probably find this silly, as many do, but it's a true feeling of mine, and one I'm working on to fix. So online and in person, if I seem to be more distant, or quiet, just know theres a lot going on inside of me, a lot I'm trying to face. Trying to accept that I'm not to blame, trying to accept that I did the best I could, trying to accept that I am a good human being and deserve love.

Thanks for listening.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Halloween 2014

Welp, halloween was a bit of a bust. We had TWO trick-or-treaters come by. How depressing! Doesn't seem like a big thing on our street, and with everyones porch lights out and no street lamps, no one wants to walk down our dark street. Such a bummer. But David and I made the most of it. Here's a video showing you what we did:

Thursday, October 30, 2014

How to do small talk

I've been told I'm good at small talk so I thought I'd make a video explaining how its done. Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Music of Sept/Oct

Heres the problem with these music posts; when I start hearing music I like, I pretty much ONLY listen to that music, so I'm not finding much new stuff! So I've had to combine September and October since I was pretty much only listening to Chromeo(they really are awesome, go check them out). Anywho, here's the latest:

I'm not a huge fan of Owl City, but I am a big fan of Sekai No Owari, a Japanese group. It's neat to hear their voices together, and also to hear them sing English.

If you watch this with no idea what it's about, I am sorry, cause I'm sure thats pretty confusing! This song was made a long time ago, just a weird Shia Lebeouf song. But this guy made it amazing, from the singing, to the dancing, to the end surprise.

This is an oldie but a goodie, just an adorable song with adorable cats.

This video is so ridiculous and fun, and the song is super catchy.

DC Trip and Health

Whoopsie Dasie, I've been slacking on the blogging. Well last week David had to take a trip to DC for a work thing, and I got to tag along! We ended up staying at a really fancy hotel:

It was a bit stressful but we had fun and David learned a lot!

Since then the seasons have really changed, we're in full blown Fall, my favorite season!! But with cold weather and rain, my fibro has really been acting up. I'm having flare ups daily! It's hard to get much done when I ache so much, arg. I appreciate all the beautiful changing leaves though, and not having to use the air conditioner.

We've also gone all out for Halloween! This will be the first year we've had trick or treaters and I am so excited! We decorated our front porch with LOTS of fake spiders, and one giant fake one. I'm trying to make it look like a witch lives here, and the spiders are my minions. On Halloween night, I'll be dressed as a witch and David will be a frankenstein monster, the idea being that I created him since I was lonely. We're going to have a giant cauldron full of candy that has a fog machine in it and I've got a ladle for getting the candy out. I'm so pumped!! I'll take a picture of all the decorations closer to Halloween. I've painted some things with glow in the dark paint so I can't set them out yet in case of rain.

Final note, I'm dreaming in Japanese! I don't know what's being said (besides simple stuff I know) so I'm not sure if what's being said is actually Japanese or just gibberish, but it's pretty cool! I have to really be invested in Japanese daily if I want to learn it, so I guess thats now showing in my dreams. Crazy!

Friday, August 29, 2014

Music of August

You know, I think I'm going to make this a monthly thing, where at the end of the month I post my favorite songs at the moment. I just like sharing good music!

 A little silly and NSFW, but oh man it's catchy and hot

Fun and catchy

This video is painful to watch, but wow is the music and imagery powerful

How does he sing so high pitched?! It's amazing and I dig it

Yes, a very old song, but I heard it for the first time in Guardians of the Galaxy and it's so pretty(and depressing)

Let me know if you enjoyed any of these!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Th greatest salad dressing ever

Well okay, that might be a stretch. I certainly haven't tried them all, but I am in love with this one. I found the recipe on Instagram and made it a bit my own.

I put it on a salad of romaine, apple slices, and brazil nuts

It's super duper easy to make, and not bad for you! You'll need:

1 can mango slices
1 can pineapple chunks (I end up using about 2/3 of the can)
Couple dashes of olive oil
Couple dashes of white wine vinegar
Couple squeezes of Dijon Mustard

Combine the above in a blender and that's it! As you can see, I don't really use measurements for this one, I just keep adding till it tastes how I like. But oh man does it taste good, and I end up making enough for about a week at two meals a day. I really really recommend adding fruit to your salad when using this, anything like apples, strawberries, dried cherries. Then a chopped nut for some healthy fats and proteins and you're good to go!

Let me know if you give this recipe a try!